Love: A Shapeshifter Without a Face
A while ago, a friend and I were having a little chat about something that I can’t really remember but somehow, the conversation led to him asking me “What is love?” and in that moment, my mind went blank. Like anything I knew about it had been completely erased and I was found staring off into space, pondering the question.
There are studies on this subject. Scientists have conducted experiments on the human brain trying to draw a conclusion and some would say it is nothing but a chemical reaction in your brain that induces a flux of chemicals and whatnot. The poets would say something like “Love is like saying I am prepared to be devastated by you.” Credit to whoever said that. I think I saw it somewhere on Instagram. With all this being said, there was still nothing in my head. It felt simple, as if it was on the tip of my tongue but the more I thought of it, the more elusive it became.
After much pondering, I realized that you cannot put love under one label. It defies the boundaries of a box because it exists in multiple forms.
Love, wears multiple masks and is a different experience for people. One will speak of how it felt like a calm flowing river and the other will tell you how it was a storm that came and swept them off. Some will tell you it is a black hole, threatening to rip you apart; for others, it creeps up on you, like ivy, taking roots and you don't realize until you're covered in it.
Love is happiness. It's looking at your friends and wondering how you found this one person in a sea of strangers. It's you looking at your beloved and wondering how it is that the color of their eyes is suddenly your favorite color.
Love is being known. It's when your friend or your lover takes the olives off your plate because they know you don't like olives or when your quirks and idiosyncrasies are understood, like a dance where you both make up the steps and you make mistakes but you recover gracefully, together.
Love is work. It's a two-way street of compromise where both sides know the effort is worth it. It's in those moments, big or small, that love roots itself deeper.
Love is pain. To love is to lose. But imagine living a life without love, what a miserable existence that must be. Be it romantic, platonic or familial, it is impermanent and I think that is why we grip onto it so much.
Love is grief. Like I said, to love is to lose. I once read somewhere that grief is love in its most savage form and I don't think I can look at grief the same again. The love you had is just looking for where to go, because its space is empty. So, it lingers in the halls of your heart, it grows smaller and smaller but, on some days, you will hear it echo within you.
Love is the only thing that transcends our physical form. People have died because of it. Empires have waged wars over it and cities have been built and named in its honor.
There's this line from a book, Chemical Hearts, that stuck with me. It says, "Do not mourn a failed love; there is no such thing. Love doesn't need to last a lifetime for it to be real. You can't judge the quality of a love by the length of time it lasts."
I fear I have only scratched the surface but to quote Jake the Dog, from Adventure Time, it’s all about the ba-bumps of your heart.
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